Science Center field trip and Middle School Drama!

Yesterday was a very different setting for my interactions with the students. The 7th graders were spending all week at the Detroit Science Center so I met them out there. Of course they were extra rowdy with it being a field trip of sorts. But there was even more drama than I expected...

One of the students was having a particularly tough time. He had just broken up with his girlfriend and was feeling very down. Worse yet, there were rumors about the girl liking one of the other boys in the class.

The boy was very sad and angry. While the class was performing a group activity, I sat and talked with him about the situation. I could tell he wasn't going to get much work done today. He really wanted to go to the bathroom, but couldn't go without a chaperone and all the teachers were busy. His ex said he probably wanted to go cry so I figured it'd be best if I finagled a way to get him to go.

What also worried me about the boy was that he was getting mildly (although not serriously) confrontational with the other boy (the one his ex is rumored to now be interested in). Worse yet, the boy (the one who had just had the breakup) always carries about 3+ pairs of scissors! I've seen him with the scissors before but figured it was just his way of being "tough" or "gangster."

I volunteered to take him down to the bathroom. It was a gamble to do this because on one hand he could take it as him feeling he could manipulate me, but on the other hand (what I was betting on) I could earn his trust and connect with him.

The gamble paid off. After he came out of the bathroom, and before returning upstairs to the rest of the class, I had a talk with him about the situation. I just tried to connect wit him and explain that breakups happen to all of us and that I understand that it hurts but that things tend to settle and subside with a little time.
Beyond that, I made a point to note that I was concerned about him and all those scissors he brandishes. Especially at a time like this when he's emotional and confrontational. I told him that even though he may have zero intention of doing anything with them, someone could see him with them, or worse yet a situation may arise where he could be in a confrontation with someone and without thinking pull them out. I added that even without intent to do anything with them, perceptions go a long way. And if someone saw him with them they might automatically think he was going to do something bad -- and that just like that he'd be in a world of trouble. I never accused him of actually planning on using them.

I stayed close to him for the rest of my day there. Just as I was saying goodbye to the students, he came up to me and said,
"Mr. Diaz.. do you want my scissors?" I told him I thought that would be a GREAT idea. He said "Ok here. Give them back to me next week."

I was very happy to see that act of trust on his part. I feel it indicates that I really connected with him. I told him I would hold on to them for him. When he was out of view I gave the scissors to the teacher I work with and told her the story and asked her to hold on to scissors.


Additionally, I also had a little talk with the other boy involved (the boy whom the girl is rumored to like now). Luckily I have a very good repore with him too and he's always coming up to me and looking for attention. I told him he should just stay away from the other boy for the rest of the day and give him some physical space. He argued that he didn't do anything to him, etc etc.

I asked him if he had ever had a rough day and he replied yes. And I asked if he liked to be bugged or annoyed on his bad days. He again replied now. I then told him that the other boy was having a real bad day and it's just not a good idea to be so close to him. He more or less agreed to it.

What worries me is the common immature misconception that fighting is an answer. They both expressed that when you're expected to get in a fight with someone they had better do it to avoid looking like a "punk" to everyone else.
I tried to explain to both (individually) that fighting never solves anything, that you could lose a fight and end up worse than you started, and that MOST IMPORTANTLY - it doesn't matter what other people say or think and that you should NEVER let others' opinions / thoughts dictate what you do.



Perhaps the above blog sounds more dramatic than it really was. I bet it was just a common 7th grade situation, but that I played a part in it provided an interesting vantage point worthy of retelling in the form of this blog! I bet it will blow over as quickly as it sparked up.